Wednesday, July 21, 2004



Daun menghijau
burung gagak menanti
"Buuk" bunyi jatuh

Friday, July 16, 2004



Si Kembang fajar
berwarna-warni pagi
melilit kaki.

Sweet asagao
Creeping over rocks and stones
your bright smile for me.



Tikar lavender
dibentang atas bumi
kenyang hidungku.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Women are WEAK.

Every month, I go through the same biological pains since I was in my 20s.

A day before the big "M", I get this bloated feelings, this heaviness. The day when "M" comes, my back is torned into 2 separated parts, something is pulling my top and another pulls from the opposite direction. My stomach has cramps that moves in every directions, pulling, pinching and punching. I feel like going to the toilet and I would sit and wait but the cramps would only built up. I can feel my blood agitating and my neck pump with wild hormone. I see myself as a volcano, cooking fuel of hot, burning lava deep inside and this lava would burst anytime with violence. This would go on for a couple of days. On such occasion, I try not to engage in heavy work or unnecessary shoppings. I would cancel any appointments and just stay home and endure the pains.

My poor husband keeps himself away from me during this dangerous "M" days. I try to be calm and stable but many times I get carried away, I lost my fight with this devil hormones in me. I would snap at him, say horrible things to him and just behave plain rude mostly.
Sometimes, I would tell him its the time of the month and I am feeling bad and not to bother me. He understands when I tell him that I am having these pains and cramps all over my stomach, and how would he feel having to endure this every month of his whole life?
I love to be a women, to feel like a women minus this monster monthly, of course.

But come to think again, there must be some kind of "hikmah" to all the pains that I am going through.

I can't wait for menopause, yahoo...when I will not have pains and cramps, will not be like Mr. Jykell and Dr. Hyde. The day will come when I can continue fasting all days in Ramadan and do sholat uninterrupted, inshaAllah.


Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "O women folk! You should give charity and be diligent in seeking Allah's forgiveness because I have seen (i.e., on the Night of the Ascension to the highest heavens) that dwellers of the Hell are women.'' A woman amongst them said: "Why is it that the majority of the dwellers of Hell are women?'' The Prophet (PBUH) replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. In spite of your lacking in wisdom and failing in religion, you are depriving the wisest of men of their intelligence.'' Upon this the woman asked: "What is the deficiency in our wisdom and in our religion?'' He (PBUH) replied, "Your lack of wisdom can be well judged from the fact that the evidence of two women is equal to that one man. You do not offer Salat (prayer) for some days and you do not fast (the whole of) Ramadan sometimes, it is a deficiency in religion.''

1. In this narration, certain weaknesses of the female sex have been pointed out, which are natural and pertain to the woman's biology, psychology and embryology.

According to biologists, during and before menstruation, a female's thought process is affected. Similarly, her pulse and blood pressure are also altered. Females are also more prone to hysteria. For these reasons, the Qur'an has declared that when you have to appoint or choose witnesses among women, you should choose two in place of one man. Modern researches have proved this rule to be correct on the basis of biology, psychology and embryology.

Again we know that physically speaking, the female has been named as the weaker sex. For these reasons, females have been excused from earning their livelihood. For earning livelihood, one may have to go out and work hard. Women have been exempted from this duty because of their biological differences and other considerations of Shari`ah. Present-day women who are ignorant of Islam and modern researches are not prepared to accept these scientifically and religiously proved facts. The West claims equality between the sexes. But this equality has not been established so far. Today all the important posts are occupied by males and all the international policies are framed by them alone. Even matters pertaining to women are decided by them. They have mostly relegated them to the posts of workers, secretaries and stenographers for their sexual satisfaction and enjoyment. After a struggle for hundred years, their condition today proves that they are the weaker sex.

So, it is both beneficial and more respectful for her to limit herself to the sphere of action suggested for her by Islam. If she oversteps her sphere, she will certainly lose her female dignity and prestige, as has happened in the West. Her state and condition there is an eyeopener for all.

2. Women should request forgiveness from Allah very often and be generous in charity. They should not show ungratefulness to their husbands and should avoid backbiting and cursing others so that they may save themselves from Hell.

Taken from

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Doa Tora


Tangan berlipat
bermimpi daging goreng
doa Sang Tora.