Yesterday we had a brain-storming haiku session. The leader of the session, due to unavoidable circumstances could not make it for the session. So we conduct the whole procedure ourselves.
There is one particular haiku that I was attracted and I vote my point to it.
Since I voted for this haiku, I have to make my reason for the vote.
This is the haiku by Mr. Oyadomari, who is a building architect full-time but choose painting and haiku writing as his hobby.
This is the original haiku.
Or Cermin belakang/ wajahmu di antara/ bunga sakura (in Bahasa Malaysia)
or From the back mirror/ I can see you among the/ blooms of sakura
The season word or kigo for this haiku is sakura.
This is what I translate from this haiku to the session yesterday.
Eventhough the writer see her (the word "kimi" is normally addressed for a younger lady) in the back mirror amongst the sakura blooms, he feels a certain loneliness, a certain sadness.
Why do I say this?
The word "back mirror" points to the fact that she is not sitting next to him. She is sitting at the back, behind him. He is alone sitting in front, by himself. He is driving her through the sakura blooms and watching her face blooms while watching the sakura along the roads. He feels happy to see the face blooms into happiness but yet inside him, he is alone, lonely and sad.
Another member opposed my narration by adding that the fact that he is seeing her among the sakura blooms is enough to make him happy. Watching the blooms of her face among the blooms of the sakura from the back mirror. By this, he is not a lonely person, sad and alone.
But the fact is he is still seeing her from the back mirror. He sees her face blooms into beauty from the back mirror and not next to him. He still feels the loneliness and singleness in the front seat.
Some members in the session make a conclusion that I am in the state of loneliness and singleness with my narration.
I say..."get a life!"
The word "back mirror" points to the fact that she is not sitting next to him. She is sitting at the back, behind him. He is alone sitting in front, by himself. He is driving her through the sakura blooms and watching her face blooms while watching the sakura along the roads. He feels happy to see the face blooms into happiness but yet inside him, he is alone, lonely and sad.
Another member opposed my narration by adding that the fact that he is seeing her among the sakura blooms is enough to make him happy. Watching the blooms of her face among the blooms of the sakura from the back mirror. By this, he is not a lonely person, sad and alone.
But the fact is he is still seeing her from the back mirror. He sees her face blooms into beauty from the back mirror and not next to him. He still feels the loneliness and singleness in the front seat.
Some members in the session make a conclusion that I am in the state of loneliness and singleness with my narration.
I say..."get a life!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(We asked the writer himself about the haiku. He said he was driving his aged mother who has sitting problem in the front seat of the car. The writer was driving her to see the sakura blooms while she was seated behind. See how right I am.
I can feel the writer's emotion. I was in that situation for all the years when my own mother was slowly dying.)
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dalam kata2 tu kak lela..
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